


I was never here.

by InterPlanetaryGirl



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Bucky acts all casual about it after, Bucky is missing, Bucky saves Steve on a couple of occasions, M/M, Steve is a huge idiot, post winter soldier, steve messes up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-06
Updated: 2014-12-22
Packaged: 2018-02-28 09:35:38
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 10,792
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2727473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/InterPlanetaryGirl/pseuds/InterPlanetaryGirl
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>I'm not the guy I was before." Bucky whispered with a small frown on his face as he looked down at the ground, kicking the snow a little. </p><p>"I know that Buck, I think we all do. But I don't care. You'll still be my best guy wherever you are." Steve assured him with a small smile, though he wasn't looking.</p><p>"I loved you." He continued to speak in a low voice, like he was ashamed</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It was hard enough for Steve to fall asleep - worrying about the nightmares that haunt him - but with the feeling that somebody was watching him, it didn't settle very well. He didn't get any sleep that night. Or if he did, then he didn't feel the effect sleep has on the body.

__________________________________________________________________

The next day, he got given a new mission - go to a newly located HYDRA base where there are, supposedly, secret rebels trying to plot against what remains of SHIELD, and shut it down. 'Not that much lasts of it still' Steve thinks as he is given the mission brief from Coulson (since he is the new director of SHIELD). "It could be very dangerous, but we want to keep this on the down low as much as possible." Coulson explains to him. "Sure you're up for this Captain?" he asks when Steve doesn't reply.

"Course I am." he assures Coulson before walking out of the room, suited up with his shield in hand. He walks out of the office and through the half finished brand new SHIELD building headquarters. But the minute he stepped into the new garage, he felt weary and on edge. Something wasn't right and he knew it, but he had more important things on his mind than the possibility of somebody (that is potentially harmless) is watching, possibly following, him. Especially since he only has to make his way to a chopper that will take him to overhead his destination and he will jump, before the chopper heads back to wherever it goes. So, Steve boards the chopper with a small feeling in the pit of his stomach and he knows something is wrong.

He sleeps for part of the trip - since he is flying to somewhere in Russia, so a nine hour flight at least - but wakes with plenty of time to prepare what he plans to do. It is is the deep forest of Russia so there's nobody, other than the HYDRA agents, really around for a good twenty miles in any direction. And that's at the least.

This time when he jumps, he has a parachute. He keeps a very safe distance from where the base supposedly is (so he doesn't alarm any of the potential officers that could be within close range if he flew any closer, causing them to alert any others) and watches the chopper fly off with it's blades cutting through the air. He wades through the thick layers of snow that cover the forest floor; soon enough, snow starts to fall again and Steve feels like he is freezing his ass off and really regrets not bringing a coat or some gloves or something to keep him warm. Like a hat. Sure, Captain America turning up to fight in a scarf, gloves and a hat may seem ridculous, but at least his hands wouldn't be numb and he wouldn't be wishing he was somewhere else. Maybe Hawaii. Apparently it's nice this time of year. The further he walks, the heavier the snow starts to fall, but not enough for it to cloud his vision. He checks the time on the phone he carries with him on missions with two secure lines - one to Coulson, one to Natasha. The only people he could possibly need to contact so urgently, in life or death situation, or for progress reports. He had being dropped merely two hours ago. From the cold, it feels ten times longer and he really starts to feel like he is freezing his ass off for no reason.

And it is as he looks down at the phone he sees something - tracks. They are barely visable, but who knows how fresh they could be knowing the rate of snow falling. Steve looks a bit ahead and sees that they are leading in the direction he was going. But when he looks behind him, he can only see the prints he left in the snow, and even those are starting to be covered by snow. So he increses his speed and when he closes in on the people he was following, they are entering a large bunker, with an extra strong, reinforced by two layers, door. He doesn't know what metal it is, but it sounds heavy the way the machine groans while it's opening. Then again, that could just be the age of it.

The snow had basically stopped, and was a lot thinner around this part of the forest, so he ran forward and threw his shield so that he could stop the door from closing before he could get in. The HYDRA agents in there were rather surprised when the shield made contact with the door and started to rush around in an attempt to close the door before he got in, but they were too late and he started to shoot as soon as he could, and used his shield to defend himself against their bullets.

Unluckily for him as well is that he could feel somebody - other than the two dozen HYDRA agents starting to come at him - watching him; just waiting, seeing how this plays out. Soon enough, more agents appeared out what seemed like nowhere and Steve was beginning to feel overrun. He was starting to panic as he ran out of ammo and couldn't keep up with the amount of HYDRA surrounding him; and he got a bullet to the back of his left calf and he almost fell to the floor, but he carried on going and fighting.

Then there was a several loud gunshots and several of the HYDRA agents fell to the floor; dying or dead. His shield was thrown back towards him and he caught it before beginning to fight again. Better, too, since as more gunshots were heard, the amount of HYDRA decreased until there was only two left. Another gunshot went and Steve threw his shield at the same time, they went down at the same time.

Steve scanned the room to see who helped him. All he saw was a figure, dressed in all black, with a metal arm but facing away. "Bucky?" Steve says, just loud enough for Bucky to hear him.

Bucky looks back over his shoulder and turns to look Steve dead in the eye, and just for a moment, Steve thinks he could be about to get shot himself, but as he looks closer, he sees that Bucky is trying to analyse the situation; trying to figure out how best to not hurt Steve - emotionally and physically - and get out of there. "Bury this place," Bucky tells him sternly as he throws a grenade at him, turning back so he is facing away. "I was never here." Bucky walks off without another word and Steve waits at least ten minutes before he lets the large metal doors close for the last time as he throws the grenade, hoping that Bucky got out.

The first thing Steve does after limping in silence for a while other than Bucky's words to him, snow falling around him softly, is pull out the phone and call Natasha. "Steve, little busy right now." she says after a minute when she picks up, sounding like she needs to catch her breath.

"He was here." Steve says, and all he can hear from the other end of the phone is silence, and a few angry yells in some othe language Steve isn't familiar with as they seem to get to feel the force of what Natasha can do. "Are you sure Steve?" she asks, barely more breathless than when she picked the phone up originally.

"Well, considering he pretty much saved my life, made me think he was about to kill me, and then said 'I was never here', yes, I'm fairly certain it was him." Steve replied, with a hint of sarcasm in his voice. (He surprised himself a little with the tone of his voice)

"He saved you?" Natasha's voice sounds uncertain and unbelieving.

"Yes," Steve sighs at the idea of explaining every detail to her. "I was getting overrun by HYDRA and then I threw my shield and I couldn't get it back and was trying to fight off maybe twenty guys at once and they were all shooting, but then, more shots were fired and the HYDRA's started to colapse and I eventually got a hold of it again and there was two left so he shot one and I threw my shield at the other. Then he said 'Bury this place, I was never here'"

"Yes, but Steve, you have to be sure." Natasha tells him with a sigh.

"Is my eyesight not good enough?" he asks.

"Well, considering you need glasses, no." she says obviously.

"I know it was him Nat." Steve tells her desperately.

"Okay, let's just think, hypothetically, it was him - so what?"

"So what?" Steve asks her with disbelief. "So, he is my best friend, I want to help him and find him."

"I know that, but who knows what he is like around anybody - including you - when he is with the rest of society." Natasha tries to reason with him.

"Well if he is anything like he was before, he will be friendly and be nice to everybody and be worried about anything bad happening to me even though he knows - especially now - that I can take care of myself." Steve says easily. He knows that if Bucky did come back to society, he won't be the same as he was before with dames hanging off both his arms and flashing a winning smile at any other dame he sees. Okay, maybe Steve is exaggerating a little bit about the amount of dames Bucky could charm back in the day, but that's what it felt like to Steve, who had also felt like one of the dames that Bucky insisted on charming. And he wasn't kidding about the winning smile. To him, Bucky's smile was the most dazzeling that had ever existed. Even when they were kids it was the thing that always made him want to get better, so that he could go back to seeing that smile instead of the frown and crease inbetween Bucky's eyebrows that were there when Bucky was at his bedside after school when he was sick.

Steve knew as he got older and spent more time watching Bucky charm dames for himself and for Steve - not that they were Steve's biggest fans - he became entranced himself. Steve knew that he, himself, was falling for the great James Buchanan Barnes. And he did regret it a little when he felt a burning sensation in his stomach when Bucky was going on dates with beautiful Dames every weekend. Though he would deny it if asked (which he wasn't) But Bucky was still there for Steve when he was sick and when he needed it. Bucky would drop everything - apart from his work at the docks - for Steve. It made Steve feel better somehow. It made him feel special. But he wouldn't ever say anything about it. Then he lost Bucky when he went off to war and it made him feel worse than every time he had being sick in the past couple of years put together. But he rarely compalined. Then he got the serum and found out Bucky went missing. He couldn't let that happen. He had to find Bucky. Because Bucky was his best friend.

"Steve, there is no way of being absolutely sure of anything to do with him as The Winter Soldier." Natasha told him gravely.

"I know that, but I could help him Nat." All of a sudden there was the sound of two gunshots and one bullet him him in the side of the ribs and he instantly let out a small noise of pain and a hand flew to his ribs. The thought about how one of the bullets that he heard hit him, barely registered in his brain, and he could hear Natasha yelling on the other end of the phone, asking if he was okay and what had happened, but Steve couldn't really hear anything. He was too busy focusing on the pain that was in his lower ribs. "Dammit Steve!" Is the first thing he heard when the pain was starting to fade, very slowly, and the burning sensation was still there but the serum was helping him heal, but what was said wasn't from Natasha, it was the very person they had being talking about with her. He sounded incredibly annoyed yet worried at the same time as he stalked up to Steve and helped him stand up and walk over to a tree for him to lean against. "I have to watch your fucking back all of the time! You still can't take care of yourself. How stupid can you be? God, Steve, I thought you had left this sort of thing far behind when you became part of the army - like you always wanted!" Steve leaned back against the tree and took several deep breaths.

"Hey Buck." he managed to breathe out through the pain. "How's it going?"

"Well it was going alright, then you went and got yourself shot you idiot!" He sounded like Bucky would have back when they were touring Europe together, if Steve had being that stupid back then, none of the hostility he had experienced on the hellicarrier was there. "You're such an idiot." Bucky muttered.

"So..." Steve felt rather awkward in this situation as he was trying to work on getting through the pain of his wound.

"Steve. You're an idiot." Bucky told him again.

 

"We've covered this several times now, and before." Steve says.

"Well clearly it hasn't sunk in. Also, is there somebody on the end of that phone. I'm guessing Natalia." That's when Steve remembered the phone gripped tightly in his hand that was held against his ribs from the pain.

"Hey Nat, sorry, I got shot; but it's okay because Bucky started giving me a lecture and now I am in no pain what-so-ever." he scoffed and Bucky snorted and gave him a dissaproving look while Natasha went on to say "Do not even make a joke about getting shot Rogers, that shit is serious. I'm sending somebody to pick you up. Could be an hour or so though" She said with a dissaproving tone.

"Sure, Nat." Steve hung up the phone and started to shift as he became a little uncomfortable.

"I'm not the guy I was before." Bucky whispered with a small frown on his face as he looked down at the ground, kicking the snow a little.

"I know that Buck, I think we all do. But I don't care. You'll still be my best guy wherever you are." Steve assured him with a small smile, though he wasn't looking.

"I loved you." He continued to speak in a low voice, like he was ashamed. "Before, I mean. I still do in a way. And I keep getting memories, but they don't really make much sense. They're from different times. One of them is from when I made you ride the Cyclone at Coney Island, another from when you rescued me from HYDRA the first time."

"What?" Steve asks in shock.

"Yeah, I, erm, I loved you. But I didn't tell you because I wasn't sure how you would react apparently."

"Apparently?" Steve asks, he and Bucky knew everything about one another.

"Just because you aren't subtle in any way, doesn't mean I didn't know how you react to something. Even if I did know everything about you." Bucky sighed, deep and long. "I don't even know why I'm telling you this. I guess it was probably best to tell you since your Bucky wanted to tell you before he died."

"You're still My Bucky." Steve assured him, the burning pain in his ribs starting to be accompanied by a churning in his stomach. "That won't ever change. The first thing I said to you when I saw you as The Winter Soldier, was 'Bucky?' and you didn't know who I was talking about. It had been seventy years and I was in shock it was you. At least, I thought it was you. And now you are again."

"No I'm not." Bucky clenched his fists in anger, or regret, or something. "I will never be him again." Bucky's voice - while filled with regret - becomes more like a warning for him to run, but even if he wanted to, he couldn't. He wouldn't move anyway; this is Bucky. And Bucky needs his help. "I was never here." he mutters and turns to walk off and Steve just stares after him as he walks through the trees and leaves Steve by himself to wait for a chopper to collect him.  
_____________________________________________________________________

Steve didn't keep a track of how long it took for the chopper to get to him, he didn't care though. His mind was blank and all he could think of was that both times he had interacted with Bucky in one day, for the first time in months. And the fact he didn't want anybody to know he was there. Yet, Bucky - even if he had of being more Winter Soldier than Bucky - must have known that he wouldn't keep even just seeing Bucky to himself.

When the chopper did get to him, he was feeling more numb than anything. (Particuarly his feet which had been stood in the snow for however long) But the wound was starting to feel less like a pit of fire, and more like a warm sensation. As if just the area he got shot had caught a fever. He limped over to the chopper slowly and on board was Natasha, who helped him get up and started to tend to his wounds; first the ribs and then his leg. His leg was fine really, just a skin deep wound, which was fine to take care of. But the shot to his ribs had gone a little deeper and the bullet was lodged there. What made it worse was that because the serum made it possible for him to heal quicker, he was starting to heal around the bullet. Meaning that it was harder for them to get it out.

"Okay Steve, I'm gonna need to cut you open a little bit so that I can get the bullet out. Your body has pushed it out as it healed, but it is still lodged in pretty well." Natasha told him.

"Would it not just be easier to go to the hospital when we get back?" Steve asked, a little scared of the idea of Natasha cutting him open to get a bullet out.

"No, it would be harder. And trust me okay? I'm able to do this." she assured him. Steve had no doubt that she could do it, he was just apprehensive about her actually doing it.

"Okay, go ahead." Steve braced himself, but that didn't stop the small hissing sounds that came out as she cut and removed the bullet. It took a couple of minutes, and afterwards, she wrapped and bandaged him to stop the bleeding. Steve sees a blanket in the corner of the corner, tucked away between another med kit and the wall of the chopper. He reaches for it quickly, though the pain in his ribs wishes he wouldn't, and he wraps it around himself. It was rough and scratchy but he couldn't care less because it was another source of warmth besides the fact he was now in a slightly heated chopper. Natasha raised an eyebrow at him with a small smirk on her face. "What?" Steve asked with a pout as he settled back into the slightly uncomfortable chair. "I'm cold. I spent time freezing my ass off so I want to be warm." he told her as he sighed.

"So where did he go?"

"I don't know. He just walked off after he told me that he would never be the Bucky I knew back in the forties again." Steve frowned a little and wrapped the blanket around him tighter. Just a little though.

"You pushed him too far didn't you?"

"I don't know. I told him that it doesn't matter which Bucky he is as long as he knows that I will always be his best friend." Steve told her, leaving everything about how Bucky from the forties used to love him, or that Bucky from the forties had doubts about knowing Steve.

 

"It might have being too much for him. He is quite unpredictable as The Winter Soldier."

"But he was more Bucky than Winter Soldier." Steve was rather confused by this.

"I know, I heard him yelling at you through the phone." she sniggered. "Also, next time you see him, tell him to not call me Natalia." Steve scoffed.

"I don't think I'm going to see him again for a while. Or ever." Steve told her uncertainly, but she smiled like she knew something. Though considering this is Natasha, she probably does.

"You will when he wants you to." She said knowingly. "He only let you see him today because he saved you. If you had of being fine, then I'm guessing you wouldn't have known he was there."

___________________________________________________________________

They sit for the rest of the journey in a comfortable, yet confused, silence. All participants (if you count the pilot as well) were fine with this. Steve just continued to feel rather bad about making Bucky walk off; but he figured that Bucky probably didn't want to come back to SHIELD with him for whatever reason. Natasha spent the time with a very knowing look on her face. And the pilot must have felt rather awkward for whatever reason and didn't say anything the entire time, though they rarely do when it's extraction and they have never encountered the person they are bringing back home. Or taking to a mission. That's the experience Steve has had in the past.

He learnt from his first time talking to a pilot he is unfamiliar with that it can get out of hand. Unfortunately this pilot happened to be a younger, more excitable, version of Coulson on the fact he got extrememly excited about having Captain America in his plane and started bombarding him with questions, causing the pilot to almost get them shot out of the sky. Whenever he thinks about it, it makes him smile a little, but mostly makes him feel awkward. He still says hi to that pilot whenever he sees him, but the guy gets embarrassed and awkward, so is barely able to say hello back. Though, lately, he does seem to be getting better the more confidence he seems to gain. Apparently Steve was his first proper mission.

____________________________________________________________________

 

When they got back, Natasha tod him to go home and rest for several days saying "I will know when you leave." and when Steve rolled his eyes saying "Well obviously, my entire palce is bugged." Natasha laughed a little and said "I will know without having any cameras on you. And Sam will probably come and say hi to you."

So he did as he was told and went home, immediately changing out of his suit and applying clean dressing to his almost fully-healed wound, and sat down in some sweat pants and a white t-shirt before climbing into bed for a few hours of sleep, since it was nearly three in the morning.

He was immediately bored when he woke up, he couldn't settle for anything on tv and he couldn't seem to occupy himself. That in itself was boring.

He wandered around his apartment, looking for something to do, until somebody knocked on the door. He sighed before going to answer it. Though he was in very little pain, his entire body moved stiffly. When he opened the door he immediately stepped aside to let Sam in; who went and made himself comfortable on Steve's couch. "No, please, come in." Steve said sarcastically as he closed the door with a click and went to join him. "So how you doin' man?" Sam asked casually as he picked up Steve's remote and flicked through the channels, trying to find something good to watch.

"I'm good I guess. Why?" Steve narrowed his eyes at Sam and his voice was full of suspicion

"Because Nat told me what happened." Sam tells him as if there's nothing wrong - which Steve doesn't think there is - but also as if he, too, knows something that he doesn't

"That I got saved by Bucky and he knew and he told me stuff about forties-Bucky and then walked off? Yeah, that happened." Steve says as if there is nothing wrong or suspicious going on, though he feels that way. He feels as if there is something seriously wrong with everybody.

"So..." Sam starts, clearly trying to figure out what to say next. "Are you going to carry on looking for him?"

 

"Well Natasha told me that I have to stay and rest. She also said that I will find him when he wants me to. On top of that, I will also have other missions to do most likely. So between all that, I doubt there's any point even trying." Sam's face becomes a small smirk and it bugs the hell out of Steve.

"Well, you never know what will happen. Just wait. Or don't. Don't forget that halloween is in a couple of days. Gotta get stacked up on candy! Even if nobody comes round, then you'll have candy and chocolate to last a while. And it's candy!"

"Nat won't let me leave the apartment." Steve told him, rather sadly, because he loved halloween. He couldn't always go out when he was younger, due to being sick, but after he met Bucky, Bucky would come round and share the sweets he got when he went trick-or-treating with his older sister. Bucky would always come round and share them, even if Steve was unable to get out of bed that day (it happened a few times) Bucky would come and talk to him about what costumes other kids were wearing and then he would open maybe one or two of his candys and if Steve was up for it, he would eat one too. It was nice. As they got older and Bucky grew out of trick-or-treating, they stayed in and just hung out, like they would on any other day. The first halloween they lived together, Bucky tried to scare him. It worked. Unfortunately it also made Steve have a coughing fit after his sharp intake of breath. Bucky didn't try it again.

"Well I'll bring you some candy then. Then you can either give it out or keep it all for yourself." Sam shrugged.

"Sure Sam, whatever." they settled down and watched tv on the channel Sam had selected - Comedy Central - and relaxed, laughing at the reruns of Freinds. So much so that Steve was in pain in his ribs from laughing so much. It was the most he laughed in as long as he could remember. Last time he laughed harder than this was probably when they (he and Bucky) had being kids (maybe nine), and Bucky had found out that he was tickleish, and had immediately started to tickle his sides and his ribs until he couldn't breathe. Although Steve couldn't actually breathe and had to take his inhaler more than usual, it was the most fun he had ever had. Even though he told Bucky he didn't mind and that he did in fact find it very fun, Bucky didn't dare do that again in case he made Steve worse than he just had.

It is getting dark by the time Sam leaves around seven, so he walks him to the door and says goodbye while Sam is saying that he will bring the candy round tomorrow. Steve just laughs a little before going back through to the kitchen with the bowl of chips that he and Sam had gone through at some point in the afternoon. He grabs himself a bottle of water from the fridge before walking back through to the living room to continue watching tv for a couple more hours before he decided that half nine would be a good time to get a shower and make sure that his side was all patched up. It was, and he went to sleep rather content that night.

__________________________________________________________________

The next morning he was awoken by a knock at his door. When he glanced at his clock, he saw that it was nearly nine. Who would be knocking on his door at this time? Sam doesn't even begin to wake up until nine at the earliest; Clint doesn't really come round unless he comes with something for Steve or is with Natasha; Tony doesn't drop by ever; Bruce rarely comes by to anywhere; Natasha usually calls him before coming around, because they usually all just meet up at Stark Towers if there is an iminant threat or they get together for their monthly movie-nights. (It would be more regular, but it's rare that they're all together at the same time.)

When he does open the door, he is surprised to see that Coulson is there. "Erm, good morning director." He gets out in his sleepy haze.

"Good morning Captain; may I?" He asks and Steve politely steps aside for Coulsen to come in and he closes the door behind him as Coulson moves so that he is stood a few feet away.

"What can I do for you this morning, sir?" Steve asks nervously, only just taking notice of his own appearence - he had only put sweat pants back on after showering the previous night, so he was currenty stood, in front of the director of SHIELD, who's first impression given was that he was a big fan of his and had a bunch of collectibles that had being released over the years, topless.

"Oh, well I just wanted to make sure you were okay after what happened. Agent Romanoff told us that you had being shot in the ribs and the wound had to be reopened for her to extract the bullet from your body." he explains.

"Er, yeah, but it's okay now. It's healed up fine, thank you sir." Steve tells him.

"Well that's good, but just in case there is anything else that needs to be done, the doctors at SHIELD think that it would be best for you to go and get an x-ray. But not today or tomorrow, she refused to allow that for some reason we're unsure of, and an appointment has being made for you in the mediacal department of the new SHIELD headquarters for the first of November. That okay Cap?"

"Yeah, that's fine." Steve assures him. Why wouldn't Natasha let him be seen today or tomorrow? Probably some secret reason that she wasn't willing to tell him. Although Coulson does seem to know something more than he is letting on - not just because he is director of SHIELD, and if he has half as many secrets that Fury did when he was director....who the hell knows what's going on. But wait, apparently Natasha does. And if Sam is in on it with them then there will be some explaining to do.

"Well, I have to get going now, Director of SHIELD stuff to do and all." Coulson tells him.

"Oh of course! Yeah, sure go ahead." He opens his door back up for Coulson to leave, which he does.

Now that Steve is awake, he goes to his kitchen to get himself some breakfast - a bowl of cheerios and a glass of orange juice. He sits at the table as he flicks his ipad on and plays some music; it was music that Sam had downloaded for him, on an ipad that Tony had bought him as an 'official-welcome-to-the-future' gift. Steve had been hesitant to accept it at first, but accepted it all the same. After ten minutes of setting it up and downloading a few apps, he saw Tony hand Natasha some money and he'd guessed that it was because Tony hadn't expected him to pick it up easily and would have being able to make fun of him. Steve doesn't mind though because he got an ipad out of it.

After Steve finished his breakfast, he doubted Natasha would be able to see what he's doing at that moment - she won't stay up all night just to see if he would go for a small walk on this nice, crisp, morning, so he goes to put on some dark blue jeans with a white t-shirt and reed zip up, before moving to putting on his shoes. (black trainers)

When he got to the living room, he grabbed his keys and opened his door again. This time he was met with the smirking face of Natasha. "What the?" he aksed when he saw her.

"I told you I would be keeping an eye on you." She said smugly.

"How the hell did you get here so fast?" is what he asks her first before realising that was the wrong question. "No no, no. How did you know I was going to be leaving?"

"I told you I was keeping an eye on you." she tells him smugly.

"Okay, how many of my neighbours are agents this time?" he asks with a sigh.

"None of them; I just have my sources." she continued to smirk. "Now go on, go back inside and don't try to leave again."

"But I'm bored, and I want to leave. So I'm going to leave somehow, just not sure how yet." he admitted.

"Fine. But if you're not back within the hour, I will come and find you and drag you back here." she tells him with a finger pointed at him and a stern voice of warning that mean he will in fact do as she tells him.

"Okay, got it. Who's your source?" he asks her.

"I can't tell you." she says

"Why?"

"Directors orders to us."

"Us? Who's us?"

"None of your business, now leave before I change my mind." she threatens, so he moves past her and locks the door.

"You have one hour!" she tells him when they get down to the entrance and she gets into her car, the one that they always use when going to missions. Well that solves how she got here so fast. How she got past all the traffic for a Friday morning, Steve doesn't want to know.

After walking for a few minutes, he starts to feel uneasy again, like the other day when he was walking to the chopper before flying to Russia. He dismisses the feeling because he knows that Natasha is keeping an eye on the time and making sure she knows where he is. Steve decides that he's just going to go and walk around the park.

Before long, he finds himself in the queue at an ice cream; Steve doesn't really know why, but he suddenly felt like ice cream. He got a mint choc chip. It's not his favourite, sure, (his is strawberry) he just had the craving for mint choc chip. He then took the long way back to his apartment, not bothering to check the time until he hears somebody - a ridiculously familiar voice that he can't quite place - say "Found him, he's five metres away from me." it doesn't sound harsh. What does sound harsh is when a car pulls up beside him and says "I give you an hour and you take two hours at least and your still fifteen minutes from your place!" Natasha yells at him through the rolled down window while he is mid-lick. He held the cone out towards her and offered it to her. "Just get in Steve." she sighed with a roll of her eyes. Though, she didn't sound too badly pissed off, just worried.

"It's not like I'm going to get murdered." he grumbled as he opened the door.

"Well, if your attention span is anything like it was when you got shot, then you could have."


	2. Chapter 2

Steve spent the rest of the day cooped inside, yet again, bored out of his mind. He didn't know what to do; or if there was anything for him to do! He eventually took to sitting there, laying on his couch as he looked up at the ceiling. He didn't really care when his door opened who knows how many hours later; if it was Sam, Nat, Tony or anybody like that, he'd be glad for the comapany, if it was any HYDRA agents after tracking him down, he'd be glad for the physical activity. Or if they were nice, they might be good company too. Steve ain't gonna judge. 

"Well if this is what you want me to do in my time off, it ain't happening." Sam told him as he walked in carrying bags of various candy. 

"Sorry," Steve says as he sat up, smoothing down the back of his haor from where it had messed up from laying on the couch. "I was bored, so I took to doing nothing. I found it pretty boring if I'm being honest." 

"I don't think you could be anything but, Cap." Sam chuckled as he sat down beside Steve, pouring the candy out onto the coffee table. 

"Did you buy out the whole store?" Steve asks incrediously as some of the Candy falls off.

"Nope. Just making sure you got variation - you gotta make sure that kids get all sorts of choice so that they don't get stuck with something they don't like or are alergic to." Sam shrugged simply. 

"I guess that makes sense." Steve reasoned. 

"Obviously, now we gonna watch something." Sam said as he took the remote and made himself at home, leaving Steve to move all the candy so that it was on the side in the kitchen. At least it gave him something to do.  
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By the time Sam left, Steve was just starting to get irratible about how bored he was. Sam left with the small words of "If I come back on the first of November, and all that candy is not gone then I am never buying you a present again." 

Steve was perfectly fine with this though, and he just sighed as Sam shut the door behind himself while Steve stood up to make himself a very strong cup of coffee. As he stood, leaning against the counter on his forearms, he was a little surprised when he heard somebody climb through the window. When he turned around, he found Clint was putting his bow down and taking his quiver off while opening a pack of beers. 

"What do you want?" Steve asked with suspicion. Clint never comes round unless he wants something or Natasha drags him there. 

"Nothing, I simply came to have a beer with my buddy. Is that so wrong?" Clint asked innocently. 

"What do you want?" Steve asked again, with less effort and a sigh. 

"Just wondered what was going on in my buddy's life." Clint said as he opened his first beer. 

"Natasha isn't telling you anything is she?" Steve smirked. 

"No and I want to know! And I thought now would be the best time to come because she's interrogating some guy they caught from HYDRA or something. She wouldn't tell me anything about that either!" Clint whined. 

"Well, I don't know either. We'll just be confused together." Steve said, abandoning his idea for coffee and settling beside Clint, accepting a beer he was handing him. 

"I don't understand anything. Natasha's always on missions these days and Tony and Bruce are constantly working on something and I don't even want to know about that." 

"I'm pretty sure you have more friends than just Bruce, Tony and Natasha." Steve assured him, also he isn't actually too sure, if he's being honest. 

"I don't even think Natasha counts since I'm dating her." Clint sighs. 

"I am going to pretend you didn't say that so that when it comes to the interrogations, I believe myself when I say that you didn't say that." 

"Yeah, probably a good idea that I never actually said that." They sit in silence for a few moments, drinking their beer. "You know who I think would be a good friend?" Clint asks him. 

"Who?" Is Steve's reply. He doesn't know if he's expecting the answer. 

"Bucky." Steve almost chokes on his drink. (He definitely wasn't ready for that answer) "From the way you speak about him he would be a pretty awesome friend to hang out with." 

"He would be. I think. He was back in the forties." Steve answers after a moment to think. 

"Everybody knows that he was in Bucky-Mode when he saw you the other day. Natasha told us that he was watching out for you and started yelling at your inability to take care of yourself." Clint chuckled 

"I don't remember a time that he wasn't yelling at my inability to take care of myself. It happened pretty often when we got into fights and then when we were both in the Howling Commandos. I was constantly putting myself in danger and he didn't like that I was almost getting myself killed each time." Because he loved me and didn't want to lose me is what Steve doesn't add to the end of the sentence. Clint starts on his second beer at this point. 

And by the time that they're through all of them - Steve only on his second but Clint on his fourth - Clint is about ready to pass out. "Dude, do you want to stay in the spare room  
"Is that a goddamn challenge Rogers?" Clint asks through a haze, tipping the last of the bottle into his mouth and starting to stand. Steve offered to hep him walk, but he shook him off saying "No no, you challenged me. After this you owe me fifty bucks." He continued to stagger towards the extra room, almost falling up the small step that was there. Steve followed him the entire time to make sure he didn't fall and injure himself, rolling his eyes and sighing when Clint crawled under the covers gloating about his victory as Steve tucked him in. 

"Goodnight Clint." Steve sighed as Clint continued to mumble something to himself before delaring "Goodnight Capsicle! I hope you find your part-metal man!" and, as far as Steve's aware, passing out solid. That's when Steve went and climbed into bed in his room and fell asleep with the ususal feeling of being watched, but he didn't mind it and, while he probably shouldn't, welcomes the feeling.  
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When he got out of bed the next day, Steve first got a shower before putting on jeans and a t-shirt and going to clean up the bottles and dorito packets from the previous night; and it wasn't until a half hour later, halfway through eating his breakfast, Clint came out of the spare room, holding his head and groaning. 

"What the hell happened last night?" he asked as he came and took a seat beside Steve. 

"Well you crawled through the window with beer, placing your bow and quiver down there," Steve pointed with his spoon to where they were placed against the back of the couch. "and then proceeded to complain how nobody tells you anything and then saying how Bucky would have been a good friend to go to a bar with and drink four out of six beers." 

"Not like they would have had an effect on you. That's basically wasting them. Why waste alcohol on those that can't get drunk?" he shrugged. "I remember you owing me fifty bucks. How did I win that?" Steve chuckled at that. 

"Because of course you would remember winning the money and not what you did to get it." Steve shook his head a little. "I told you to go sleep in the guest room and offered to help you but you bet me fifty bucks you could do it without my help. I then tucked you in and you continued to mumble to yourself until I said a final good night and then you said "Good night Capsicle! I hope you-"

"You find your part-metal man. Oh yeah! I remember that part." 

"Of course you do." Steve sighs. 

"Anyway, I will get out of your hair and go explain to Natasha what happened...I don't suppose she'll be too impressed." Clint scratches the back of his neck awkwardly before walking over to his bow and quiver. "See ya later Capsicle. Hope you find Robocop." He climbs out of the window and starts to climb the fire escape. 

"He is a weird one." Steve mutters to himself, taking a sip of coffee.  
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After that, Steve just took to cleaning his apartment. Every single room. About ten times over. By the time it got to five 'o' clock. he had forgotten all about the fact it was halloween. Steve mentally cursed himself as he poured a mix of the candy Sam dropped off the previous day into a bowl, just as the first person knocked at his door. What he was met with one parent ushering one of the six children forward and reminding them "What do you say?" to which Steve was met with a chorus of "Trick or Treat!" and Steve smield at them all. He just said "Take two pieces of candy each." as he crouched down in front of them and offered them the bowl. 

"Are you Captain America?" one of the children asked. She looked about six years old and had blonde waves tumbling past her shoulders, and she was wearing a pair of dark trousers with matching t-shirt and leather jacket; her face painted white with fake blood streaked from the corners of her mouth.

"Sure am." he told her, smiling. "How come?" 

"Just wondered." she shrugged as she took her turn looking in the bowl and picking her candy as the rest of her friends or siblings carried on down the hall to the next apartment. After she had her candy, she carried on down the hall to catch up to them, a little behind their guardian.

He didn't get any more trick or treaters for about half an hour, and then they didn't seem to stop for another hour and a half. He was really glad that Sam had brought him so much candy, but he figured he would still have some left over. By the time it was dwindling down, he estimated he had seen two Black Widows, three Iron Mans, five Hulks, five Hawkeyes, eight Captain Americas, ten princesses, seven zombies and five ghosts. With various combnations - there was a girl who was dressed as a zombie-princess-bride. Steve had thought she was extra cute, especially since she was only young (maybe three, four). 

Finally, just as he thought he had finished, there was a knock at the door. He opened the door to find a girl, no more than eight, stood there, looking down at the floor with, what appeared to be her big sister, stood a few feet behind her, enouraging her forward gently, not wanting to push her out of her comfort zone. When the girl looked up, he saw something in her eyes that showed she was scared, but Steve was gentle and asked if she wanted some candy. She nodded and said something but it was muffled by the mask she was wearing. "Aimi, remove your mask so he can understand you." The girls - Aimi's - sister instructed calmly from behind her, so she did. "Yes please." she answered with a small voice. 

"So who're you supposed to be?" Steve asked as Aimi decided on some candy. 

"The Winter Soldier." she tells him, also making her left arm (with a metal casing on it, and a leather glove on the hand) "I love him." 

"And why's that?" Steve asked, smiling a little.

"I just love him. He's really cool, and I've done a ton of research on him as Bucky Barnes before, and he was so interesting." 

"I agree with you there." 

"I mean, don't get me wrong, I love Captain America, I do, but Bucky was so loyal and faithful and he would have - did - give his life for you. And I'm sure if the roles were reversed, then you'd have done the same for him. But I think he's just amazing. Even as The Winter Soldier." 

"Have an extra piece," Steve tells her. "and I would have done exactly the same in his place." She smiles at him sweetly and backs back to her sister shyly, tugging on her sleeve to carry on walking. "Bye Steve." She says as she walks off, giving a little wave as she ges. 

"Bye," Steve says back, waving before closing the door. He sighs, figuring that is the last of the trick or treaters and he still had a good quarter of the candy he started with. 'Better get started on it now' Steve thought to himself, shrugging as he walked ot wear the remainder of the candy was and opening a chocolate bar. He felt like he hadn't had some in forever. Which, now that he came to think about it, he hadn't. Sure he'd had the odd bit here and there in ice cream, or as a sauce, or as hot chocolate. But he hadn't sat down and had a proper bar of chocolate. So he did just that. Devouring half of what was left. It really was a good thing he had a fast metabolism otherwise he would be regretting this moment. 

"Wow, I can't believe you've barely saved any." Comes a voice from behind him. It startles Steve, sure, because he wasn't expeting it. He doesn't make it obvious though as he continues to eat. 

"Well do you want some?" Steve asks. 

"Yeah, okay." So Bucky comes and sits himself down beside Steve and helps him to finish what's left. Eating more than Steve. "It seems like I've not had chocolate in forever." Bucky mumbles as he unwraps what is the last chocolate. "What with all the missions I've had and whatever." Bucky shrugs 

"That's cool." Steve doesn't pry about them, but he desperately wants to know what he's been up to these past few days. 

"And it's also good that Natasha made you stay home. I swear to god one of these days you're actually going to get yourself killed. By Natasha. She will be the death of you. And then I'll kill you again for getting killed." Bucky faltered for a moment as he realised he said something wrong. 

"How'd you know that Natasha was ready to kill me?" Steve asks, narrowing his eyes a little and trying not to smile. 

"Well, I have been keeping tabs on you obviously. Because if I'm not there, then somebody is bound to kill you." Bucky said without missing a beat.

"And you weren't worried about Natasha killing me?" Steve asked, a little smug. 

"Nah, she's cool." Bucky shrugged before eating the chocolate bar in two bites. 

"You really haven't changed when it comes to chocolate." Steve said, though his mouth was hanging open a litel because of the size of it. It should have taken at least four. But no. Bucky eats it in two. 

"Did you actually expect me to have?" Bucky asks with a raised eyebrow and a small smirk, but aprehensive for the answer. 

"Not really, but I also didn't expect you to eat the chocolate in two bites Bucky!" Steve argued back with exaggerated hand gestures. 

"Oh stop complaining. Just because you don't have my talent." Bucky said with a smug look on his face. 

"And what talent would that be Barnes?" Steve raised an eyebrow. 

"I think you know which talent that would be Rogers." Bucky winked at him, and Steve could feel the blush starting to creep up his throat, but continued to bluff is way through it.

"No, I'm not sure I do." Steve said with a challenge in his voice. 

"Do you want me to spell it out for you?" Bucky said leaning in close. Steve didn't back away though, he met him with a smirk and raised eyebrow. They were close enough to kiss and they both knew it when Bucky stopped leaning in. 

"That's probably the better option right now." Steve said with short breath. He wanted so badly to lean into Bucky and kiss him, but he wasn't going to push it. 

That's when Steve heard something muffled into a transceiver into Bucky's ear and he pressed his lips to Steve's quickly, not giving him chance to reciprocate. "I was never here." Bucky growled as he turned on his heal and started to walk out the door. 

"Bucky." Steve called after him, making him stop. "When will you back?" he asked. Not exactly the question he had in mind to begin with, but it will do. 

"You won't know." Bucky answered, slight smugness to the way he said it, but then changed and became stiff and cold, saying "I was never here." again and walking out of the apartment without looking back. 

"Oh well. At least I know he's coming back." Steve shrugged to himself as he moved to clean up after them both. 

After that he took an early night and fell asleep, feeling slightly uncomfortable at the absence of the feeling that he was being watched. He didn't like it, but he supposed he should.  
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The next morning he was woken by a loud knocking at the door. He shot out of bed as whoever was there continued to knock obnoxiously loud. 

When he opened the door, he realised why. 

"Good mornin' Capsicle. Sleep well?" Tony asked as he made his way into Steve's apartment carrying a tablet. 

"I was sleeping just fine until you came knocking on my door." Steve grumbled, mostly to himself. 

"Cool cool. " was Tony's reply. "So anyway, I am here at this moment in time to present you with a proposal." 

"I'm not marrying you Tony." Steve rolled his eyes as the answer slipped out. Tony just laughed a little. 

"Good, because I was all set on marrying Pepper." he says in easy reply. "No, I wanted to give you this," he lifts the tablet a little. "if you do me favour." 

"First off, I already have a tablet and second, what kind of favour are we talking here." 

"Yes, but this tablet is special!" Tony was starting to raise his voice as he made a spectacle of whatever was different about this tablet. But he clearly wasn't going to continue until Steve asked what it did. So with a sigh, he asked. 

"I'm not telling you until you agree to do me the favour." Tony told him. 

"Well what is the favour?" Steve asked. 

"I'm not telling you until you agree to do it." Tony said. He wanted something really bad by the sounds of it, and he wasn't going to give the information until Steve agreed to it.

"Fine." Steve agreed, though he thought he would regret it very badly. 

"Great! All you have to do is draw the New York skyline for me." Tony said.

"What's the catch?" Steve asked with narrowed eyes. 

"You have to do it from the roof of Avengers Tower." Tony shrugged. 

"Okay, now what is so special about the tablet?" he asked. 

"This helps you to track Robocop." Tony said simply. 

"How?" Steve raised his eyebrows. 

"Well me and Bruce and Jarvis have taken our time to go through all HYDRA files concerning your little popsicle, and found what his arm is made of. So what this does is it locates all of that in the area. We thought it would be something rare like vibranium or adamantium, but it's simply a combination of steel and aluminuim, which we have calibrated this tablet to find." 

"You did all that, just so that I would do you a favour?" Steve asked incrediously. 

"Yes." Tony nods. 

"If all you wanted was a picture, you didn't have to go to all this trouble." Steve sighs, smiling slightly at the thought of him and Bruce working hard for this. 

"Yeah, well, at least you'll know if Robocop's in the area with this." Tony shrugs again. 

"Thanks, Tony. And tell Bruce and Jarvis thanks too for me." Steve added.

"Will do, anyway, I should probably get going. Things to do, things to research and all." 

"Of course, thanks for stopping by." Steve said as he opened the door for Tony to leave out of.  
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Sam came round around lunch time as Steve was making himself a sandwhich. "Dude, we gotta go." He said with his wings (brand new and made by Stark) folded up on his back. 

"Can I not eat first?" he asked. 

"No, bring it with you if you're that hungry." So Steve did.

"What exactly are we doing?" Steve asked as he continued to eat his lunch while they were walking down the street. 

"We found more leads." Sam tells him simply. 

"For what?" Steve asks, though it is muffled by the food in his mouth. 

"Learn to eat with your mouth closed." Sam scolded him. "We found some of Zola's legacies." They were hurrying down the street, but only just slow enough that Steve didn't start to choke on his food. That would be awkward, to be walking down the street to go get a mission brief and then for Captain America to start choking on his food. 

"Where?" Steve asked, after swallowing his food this time. 

"Right down the street. So I figured I'd tag along this time." 

"Yeah, okay, if you're sure about that." Steve shrugs.  
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After Coulson has given them their mission and they were in the car on the way there, Sam turned to Steve who was keeping his eyes on the road. 

"Is there something you want to talk about?" Sam asked, trying to be casual. 

"No." Steve answered, trying to be casual as he took a turn onto a dirt road, but his eyes flickered toward Sam in a worried motion. 

"Are you sure? Nothing happened over the past couple of days? Maybe yesterday?" Sam pried. 

"I ate the remaining candy." Steve told him. 

"All by yourself? There must have been quite a bit left over." Sam continued. 

"Not when I let each kid have a couple of pieces each." Steve sighed as he climbed out of the car, accidently slamming the door shut before grabbing his shield from the back seat and walking off towards the small, very-little-of-it-remaining base. 

"Okay, if you say so buddy." Sam said it like he was speaking to a child. 

"Why would you think I'm lying?" Steve asked, though he knew was. 

"I don't." Sam shrugged. 

"Now you're lying." Steve sighed, knowing to just drop the conversation. "Okay, I'll go through the main door and you go to the side door." he told Sam as he walked up to the main door. Sam nodded and went to scope the rest of the perimiter at the same time.

The door was unlocked, which made Steve's brow rease in confusion - were they expecting him? When Steve stepped in, the first thing he saw was that it was empty for everything except from some broken equiptment and a couple of scientests tied together on the floor on either side of a support beam at the end of the room. 

As he walked over to them, there was a little note pinned the wood, so Steve pulled it off and read it - You gotta be faster than that Stevie. Of course he would have already been here. Then there was Natasha's voice coming through his coms 

"I told you to keep an eye out! Not take over!" She said, and Steve was very confused. 

"Natasha?" Steve asked. 

"Oh. Steve. Sorry, wrong com line. That's never happened; I'll get on Stark about it." She says before the line goes dead again. There was a clattering behind him and, with his shield ready, Steve spun to see what it was. He was met with Bucky rubbing the side of his head. "Hey." he greeted him.

"For an ex-assassin, you weren't exactly quiet." Steve tells him with raised eyebrows. 

"Would it have changed anything if I was?" Bucky asked, quirking one eyebrow with a smirk. 

"Well it would have made it easier for you to sneak up and scare the shit out of me." Steve shrugged. 

"Or kill you." Bucky suggested. "If I wanted to of course." 

"If you wanted to." Steve agreed with a nod. That's when Bucky put a finger to his lips and slunk into the shadows to the side. And a moment later, Sam walked in from the right hand side through a door he found.

"Perimeter is clear, we're all good." Sam told him as he walked over. "I see you took care of everything in here." he motions to the scientists tied up around the beam, and Steve quickly shoves the note in his pocket. "Yeah, it was easy. There was basically nothing to do." 

A small "I was never here." that came through his com, startled him a little and Sam noticed, but he carries on.  
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After he got back from the tower, where Tony asked him when he wanted to come round to do the art in 'whatever material as long as it looks good at the end of it' and then had an Avengers movie night with take-out chinese and pizza as well as junk food in general, he was back home and tired after the long day. So when he got back, he did not expect to find Bucky sat on his couch like it was his home (which it could be, if he wanted) with a beer in his hand, feet up on the coffee table and watching tv. 

"Hey Steve." He said without taking his eyes from the tv and took a sip of beer. 

"Hey yourself." Steve said, slightly confused. 

"I put my stuff in the spare room, hope you don't mind." Steve shook his head with a small smile. 

"I don't mind, but, uh, how did you know it was spare?" Steve asked with raised eyebrows. 

"I have been keeping an eye on you. Makin' sure you don't die and everything. You learn things. Also, you really shouldn't have gone in there unarmed before. Don't think I don't remember what you're like Captain I'm-trying-to-be-selfless-but-am-actually-just-a-stupid-punk." 

"That is not at all true." Steve tried to defend, but Bucky shot him a look that made him shut up. "So what have you been doin' when you haven't been making sure I don't die?" Steve asks as he sits himself down. 

Bucky shrugs. "Been to Paris, various places in Russia, Switzerland, Canada a couple of times. But I was mainly at SHEILD." 

"What?" Steve was confused now. "Wouldn't I have seen you?" 

"No. For the first month I was trying to regain my memories and completed the bulk of my recovery while there. I was becomming good friends with Natasha and a little bit Sam. Only Natasha knew that I was tailing you whenever I had free time. How do you think she knew you were going to leave before you had grabbed your keys?" 

"You little snitch!" Steve exclaimed. "That's just so rude." 

"I know, but she told me to tell her and she would have had us both by the ears if I didn't." he shrugged, and Steve had to agree. 

"Wait. So you have been watching me nearly every day for the past eight or nine months on and off?" 

"Yeah. Let me tell you, I'm surprised you've dropped your early morning runs." 

"I just didn't feel like them." then Steve realised what Bucky had said "What the hell! How early do you get up to watch me?" 

"Well usually about ten, but you're still asleep sometimes." 

"Depends how well I slept that night." 

"I figured." Bucky ruffled Steve's hair. "Are we ordering in or?" 

"You can. I'm stuffed, try having movie night with the avengers where everybody needs their choice of food ever since Clint refused to not have pizza there the first time which he didn't even end up eating." Steve told him. 

"Fine. I'll order myself a pizza." he said as he reached into his back pocket and pulled out his phone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I realise this is pretty shit continuation, but I had new ideas and wasn't quite sure how to change the first chapter to make it fit. So....yeah

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry for any mistakes or if something is wrong, I'm not too good at this...


End file.
